A woman once said to me “there are some things in the Bible that you just shouldn’t question.”

Why? What is she afraid will happen?

Many people take a somewhat passive approach to Bible study. They read it, think about what they’ve read, maybe read a commentary on the passage, hopefully pray about what they’ve read, and that’s about it. This is good. And we should all do this. “But” as Billy Mays often said, “wait, there’s more.”

I take a slightly different tack and one many contemporary Christians often don’t care for. Along with passive study, I’ll often use sort of a ‘devil’s advocate’ approach. I’ll take a position (and one that is often contrary to our Christian pop culture) and see what God’s Word has to say about it. I’ll cover anything from smoking pot or drinking alcohol to pre-marital sex or church attendance.

It’s interesting the fear people have that God’s Word might actually say that whatever their favorite sin is – isn’t really a sin. Why, that would take some of the fun out of judging others.

If ever there was a manuscript that can withstand questioning (and attacks), the Bible is it. And you know what? We just might learn a few things from God in the process.

This guy who lost his cool and then slid down the emergency chute with a couple of beers in his hands.

People seem to either revile him or worship him. I just think he needs to grow up.

His job is frustrating. He snapped and said some stuff he shouldn’t have to a passenger and then over the intercom. I get it.

It’s his next step where I have a problem. He could have stepped back for a moment, apologized to all the passengers for his rant, and then pleaded for a few weeks or months off before maybe coming back to work. Next best, he could simply have done nothing. Just stopped, gone to the back of the plane or elsewhere, and done nothing.

But stealing a couple of beers, pulling the emergency slide handle, and going for a slide? Really? Time for him to grow up and act like a man instead of a 7-year-old child.

A brief follow-up to my previous post…

Peer Pressure is very powerful.

Most of us are, and often rightly so, hesitant to speak up to people violating social etiquette. It’s often simply not worth it and just creates conflict where it’s not really necessary or beneficial.

But sometimes it is worth it.

My guess is that my speaking up to the folks who broke in line and hogged a bunch of tables in Ess-a-Bagel made an impression on them, and others, and that at least a few will be less likely to hog tables in the future, because they now realize how boorish their behavior was, or simply for fear of being called out.

I spend just about every morning, whatever city I’m in, in a café, writing. There are 2 or 3 that have become favorites and that I frequent fairly often. Besides really good cappuccino’s, I like a place where I can have some level of privacy for my laptop screen and where the noise is a sort of a non-distracting murmur.

Occasionally, if someone is talking a lot louder than others and keeps on and on with it, I’ll give them a look that usually gets the message across. If that doesn’t work I might ask them, nicely*, if they can use their inside voices. On several occasions I’ve been thanked by others for saying something to someone who was annoying many. In one café I was recently told that the annoyingly loud talking has noticeably decreased since I’ve been coming in there (and I’ll note that I rarely even say anything anymore). Apparently others have also taken up the ‘inside voice’ banner when I’m not there.

One particularly interesting comment was a gal telling me about a guy I’d said something to almost a year ago. His reaction at the time was to tell me to mind my own business (I responded that I was finding that difficult since he seemed so intent on making his business mine). She said that the next couple of times I came in he quickly quieted down and after a while began talking quieter all the time. Bravo!

My goal, by the way, isn’t to embarrass anyone but simply to communicate that their actions are negatively impacting others around them.

Full Disclosure: The loud talking thing is interesting because I’m far from innocent on this one. I don’t naturally talk very quietly and have had to very intentionally talk quieter so that I don’t annoy others.

What Would Jesus Do?

Well, I’m pretty confident he wouldn’t have acted like I did. Would he have said anything at all? Called down a lightning strike on the dude? I really don’t have a clue what he would have done. Sometime I hope to do a Bible study on Christ’s social etiquette.

One scenario I can imagine is one of his disciples effectively playing my role and then Jesus calmly saying to his disciple (and loud enough for those around to hear), “This man is ignorant of what he is doing, leave him be, he doesn’t know any better.” Likewise I can imagine Jesus totally berating his disciple for actions similar to mine with something like “Ignorant fool. Do you think you are better than this man? Do you never act boorish? Are you perfect in all ways?”

I’m not very good at allowing people to negatively impact me. If someone breaks in line I’m very likely to say something. Likewise if the kid (or adult) behind me on a plane is kicking the back of my seat, or any number of similar things. I don’t believe that being meek means rolling over, but has more to do with self-control and not loosing our cool or being an arrogant jerk. I could have exhibited a bit more meekness in Ess-A-Bagel and still gotten my point across.

Chitlins in Paris

Some time ago I intended to start a blog called Chitlins in Paris for discussion of café culture, food, and travel. Done.

* And nicer today than yesterday. My family has pointed out to me on a few occasions that my rather direct demeanor, while not intended to, can come across as anger.

Had an interesting experience in New York this past weekend. Went to a place called Ess-A-Bagel, somewhere about 50th and 3rd. Long line of people – not unusual for a New York bagel place. The 4 of us got in line, ordered, got our food, paid, and then went to sit down.

They have about15 small tables (30” round?) and maybe 45 chairs. 3 tables and 6 chairs were being held by a man and his 2 kids – one at each table. His wife and other 2 kids were in the back of the line – about 20 minutes or more from ordering. All other tables were full of people who had their food. I asked, nicely, if we could use one of the tables and 4 of the chairs. Dad said no “We’re holding them.”

We looked around – no other place to sit with our trays of food. Stood for a couple of minutes then asked a second time. He again said no. I looked around and nobody else appeared to be near finished. Only other potential was 1 guy with coffee sitting at a table with 2 empty chairs. I told the dad holding the 3 tables that they shouldn’t hog a bunch of tables when they hadn’t yet gotten their food (I was losing my nice). At this his wife stepped out of line and berated me. I responded that common courtesy is to get your food first and then get a table. A couple of guys in line behind her yelled at me. My son wisely stepped in at this point and told me to just ignore them.

While we stood waiting for another table to finish the cashier cleared some loaves of bread off a table and gave us 2 chairs. I was able to get another chair so 3 sat and 1 stood. BTW, this wouldn’t have bothered me if the place were full of people who were eating – that’s life. It was that I stood while this guy and his two kids sat with no food in 3 chairs and held 3 empty chairs and tables when they didn’t yet need them.

When we were done and headed out the dad and his kids were still sitting there holding the tables and empty chairs, and still without any food. Mom and other 2 kids were still waiting on their food. Interestingly my son noted that the 2 guys behind the mother who’d yelled at me had joined the coffee drinker who, when they came in, had purchased a coffee quickly so he could grab a table and hold it for his 2 buddies. No wonder they were so sensitive over the issue.

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Holding tables is like breaking in line. The line in self-serve cafés goes something like; order, get food, pay, get table. Or sometimes; order, pay, get table, food delivered to table.

Tables have time value. During the time that the dad was holding the tables with his kids waiting on his wife to order and bring their food, 6 to 12 other people could have used those tables*. And while they wait in line other tables will free up for them to use.

On average, if people hold tables like this a café needs 30% to 90% more tables (and thus expensive space) to accommodate the same number of people as they will if nobody holds tables.

Hogging a table before getting your food isn’t fair to those who arrived before you and have already waited in line and gotten their food. Most people understand this and are courteous enough to not hold tables in a busy place. Unfortunately the number of people who lack common regard for others seems to be growing. More and more cafés are having to put in signs about common decency such as “Do NOT get your table until you’ve ordered and paid for your food.”

Ess-A-Bagel should do the same for the few inconsiderate folks who want to hog tables.

Café Etiquette:

If a café is crowded, order and pay for your food BEFORE grabbing a table. This allows others who arrived before you and already have their food to use the table.

Conclusion of the story… As we were leaving my son hung back a bit and apologized for our yelling at them. He said that they were wrong for hogging the tables when they didn’t have food, but that didn’t make it right for us to yell at them. Ah, nothing like learning maturity from your kid (though I’m quite proud to!)  He also noted that the guys kids seemed quite embarrassed by the whole thing.

* Let’s do some math. Assuming 3 people per table, the 15 tables in Ess-A-Bagel can accommodate 45 people for an hour each, 90 people for 30 minutes each, or 135 people for 20 minutes each. If it takes 20 minutes to get your food and 20 minutes to eat, then twice as many people can eat sitting down if nobody holds tables as can if people like this man hold tables while waiting on someone else to order and bring their food.

Time to get myself in trouble again…

Have you kept up with the gulf oil spill? Seen the pictures of oil coating plants and animals in the marsh areas? Read stories of the various clean-up operations? Held your breath at the latest attempt to stop the leak (which fortunately seems to be working!)?

What would you think if BP and the U.S. Government had said that the leak could not be plugged? That there was no way to stop the flow. That best they could do would be to capture some of the oil, perhaps as much as 90%, but the remainder would continue to leak in to the gulf forever. ‘Instead of trying to capture the oil we’re going to put all of our efforts in to clean-up operations and we believe that in any month or year we’ll be able to clean up as much as 10% of the oil that spills during that period and we’ll be able to help 10% of the birds and other animals impacted.’

Dumb idea?

This is kind of what we’re doing with rescue operations to help enslaved women. All of the focus is on the clean-up and none on stopping it at the source – preventing it from happening in the first place. We save 20 girls, but 400 (4,000?, 40,000?) others are enslaved during the same period*.

The answer, according to many, is that we simply need to end prostitution. Good luck.

In this post Tom Davis talks about ‘Sex divorced from the Love that created it.” This is perhaps a dangerous (and ignorant?) perception. Especially if you want to help girls enslaved into the sex industry. It’s all nice and everything to think about sex and love together, but it’s not reality.

If you ask a woman about sex and love you’ll get a long dissertation on love and romance and maybe a brief mention of sex with the man she loves. If you ask a man you’ll get “I Love Sex.”

For women, sex and love (and emotions) are all intertwined. For men they are pretty much completely separate**. And you know what? This is the way God made us. He made women to desire sex only (or primarily) with the man she loves. He made men to desire, and I mean really really really desire, sex with every cute girl that walks by. And God didn’t stop here, he gave men a nearly unquenchable desire for variety in sex partners.

This is why we have a prostitution industry. Why we’ve had one since the beginning of time. And why we’ll likely have one for at least another year or two.

In his 5 level Hierarchy of Human Needs, Abraham Maslow lists sex twice (and it’s the only thing listed twice btw) ***. He includes Physical Sex as a Physiological need at the base of his pyramid along with air, water, food, and sleep. He lists Sexual Intimacy in the 3rd level of Love and Belonging. In discussions on this, more than a few women ask why it’s included on the 1st level. Men know why. However, as intimacy, both male and female can relate.

Many well-meaning Christian men very vocally disagree with me on all of this. Of those who have done so publically, several have later been caught with their hand in the nookie jar.

I don’t know why God made men and women the way he did. Why he didn’t give men a sex drive similar to women. It would have made life in our society much easier. He didn’t though and there’s not much we can really do about it.

At this point I want to interject something. If your husband’s sexual monogamy is important to you and he is sexually monogamous in your marriage – you are extremely blessed! The title of a popular book by Stephen, Fred, and Mike, ‘Every Man’s Battle’, is quite an understatement for many men.

Reality isn’t very romantic, and we ignore it at our own peril.

Do you believe that we can ever eliminate prostitution? Reduce it? If you answer yes to either of these I’ve got some miracle holy water I’d like to send you (for a small donation of course).

As long as we have men in society we will likely have a huge demand for prostitution. It won’t abate. It won’t go away anytime soon. We can call for an end to prostitution all we want, but to the average horny male, that doesn’t mean a lot. We can spout all the horrifying statistics we can come up with legitimately or illegitimately, but they’ll either get lost in the din of other such horrifying statistics about a host of other issues or, more likely, dismissed as exaggeration and lies.

So what do we do? With this reality how can we more effectively alleviate women being forced to work as prostitutes, effectively raped, in the first place? Instead of saving 20 after they’ve been enslaved and raped, how can we prevent 200 (or 2,000, or 20,000) from being enslaved or raped at all?

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Note: None of the above should be construed as support for men visiting prostitutes – just as pointing out traffic fatalities should not be construed as support for someone intentionally causing a traffic fatality.

* I am not saying that we shouldn’t be helping women caught in bondage. We should certainly continue these efforts.

** Men do enjoy sex (and air, food, and water) more with a woman they love than with a stranger – but they still very much enjoy them, including sex, otherwise. And ‘very much’ is rather an understatement.

*** Maslow was, to the best of my knowledge, not in any way a believer in any Biblical scriptures and was likely a humanist. This is particularly evident with the top level of his pyramid, Self-actualization. However, his model does accurately portray basic human needs and behavior and does so even for Christians.

In my previous post about the 40,000 sex slaves I included a link to Tom Davis’s blog (linked under the phrase ‘ignorant Christian’). This has gnawed at me ever since. Davis didn’t just parrot the 40,000 prediction, which would be bad enough given the shakiness of it, he went a step further and made up a story that it had actually happened.

After the 40,000 number was proven so grossly inaccurate after the 2006 world cup, the vast majority of NGO’s, government officials, politicians, and journalists shied away from it this time around. David Batstone a good example. In all of my searching and interviews I’ve found few who would touch it as a prediction for 2010, and not a single one, save Davis, who would say that anything even remotely close actually happened.

I asked Davis about this on his blog. In 3 replies and 1 blog post he chose to try diverting attention from his lying rather than fess up. Has he, in effect, been saying that whatever he says, truth or lie, is worth the reward? That for him, the end justifies the means, in this case lying?

This wasn’t a mis-statement or mis-quote on Davis’ part. It was a blatant and intentional lie. I’ve been a writer for a number of years. You don’t write the words he did by mistake. He knew what he was doing. He knew he was lying.

Confession. I’m very far from perfect on this score. I am a poster child for adult ADD (which I view as more of a blessing than a curse btw). My memory is often a rather strange jumble of things that often takes concerted effort to sort out. Much to the chagrin of many I often think out loud which then leads to either me correcting myself on things or to others doing so. The problem I’ve found with sorting things out before opening my mouth is that by the time I sort them out the conversation has traversed 2 or 3 other topics…

Writing unshackles me. I can, usually, take the time to sort through things and make sure that what I’m saying is both what I actually think and is factually correct.

As Christians we should take the moral high ground. We should be more honest than the rest. God does not need us to lie to accomplish his goals. Truth will win out over lies EVERY TIME.

When we lie we lose our moral authority. And do so collectively. Tom Davis telling a lie doesn’t impact only Tom, but his entire ministry Children’s Hopechest* and all of us who are Christians or work in social justice organizations. How can we expect someone to believe us when we’re telling them about Christ when they know they can’t believe us otherwise?

And quite frankly, “I’m not perfect, just forgiven” doesn’t cut it.

Raising liars

This culture of Christian lying seems to start with our teens. We’ve built a little box that defines what a good Christian is. We are quick to condemn anyone who falls outside our little box. Peer pressure and acceptance, for teens, is extremely powerful. What to do when we inevitably then find ourselves outside the little box? Lie about it. It’s a bit tough the first time, but gets easier and easier each successive time.

How often is our little box, defined by our Christian Pop Culture, more restrictive than what God says? How often is someone condemned for something that is a sin in man’s eyes, but not in God’s? If you haven’t already, I suggest reading Phillip Yancey’s Soul Survivor for a start on this topic.

This is all then massively exacerbated at many Christian colleges. At Northwestern College, Bethel University, and Bethel Seminary, all in Roseville, MN, lying is part of the daily routine for many. Students are required to attend chapel every day but many find it too easy to check-in quickly (yes, proof of attendance is required) and then sneak out the side door. Most professors require students to sign a statement on tests that they have read ALL of the assigned material. Not doing so will cost you a letter grade. Just a guess, but I’m betting a chunk of students lie about this one.

Many Christian high schools, colleges, and universities require students to sign ‘lifestyle statements’. Most of these don’t just govern on-campus behavior, but ALL behavior, 24-hours per day, until the day they graduate. These almost universally include prohibitions against any form of sex outside of marriage and any alcohol or drug use. Many also include prohibitions against smoking cigarettes, dancing, holding hands, listening to secular music, going to bars, and a host of other prohibitions. I know a lot of students who attend these institutions. Extremely few go more than a week or two without violating the lifestyle statement they signed. And when asked by authorities if they’ve violated it?

One friend told me that for her the greatest thing about moving to her local state university from the Christian college where she’d spent 2 years was the much higher level of integrity and honesty at the non-Christian university. That’s a very sad statement from a committed Christian.

Next comes adulthood. Adult Christians lie to keep their outward appearance inside the little ‘good-Christian’ box. We lie about some of our beliefs and questioning so that we remain ‘Christianly Correct’ to our Christian friends. And we lie, as Tom Davis did, not to protect ourselves from others opinions, but to accomplish our own goals.

And we wonder why Christians are held in such low esteem by so many.

More next week.

* Children’s Hopechest appears to be a very worthwhile organization that I have supported in the past. The problem I have now is how much of anything they say can be believed given their leader’s willingness to lie so easily.

In the year or so prior to the 2002 World Cup in Korea and Japan there were sporadic predictions here and there about the numbers of women who would be enslaved and trafficked to meet demand for prostitutes during the games. About a third mentioned the number 40,000.

In the months leading up to the 2006 World Cup in Germany rhetoric heated up and there were thousands of headlines about the predicted 40,000 women who would be trafficked, against their will, in to Germany to work in Germany’s legal brothels. Churches, NGO’s, and other groups spent enormous sums of money to find and help these women. The German government allocated a large number of police, social workers, and others to help out.

Reality? They found 5 (4 women, 1 man). And the extent to which any of them were forced became questionable. The brothels all said that they had plenty of women willing to work and had no need of enslaved women.

Some don’t learn their lessons. Prior to the 2010 World Cup in South Africa a few groups, politicians, and one David Bayever, deputy chairperson of South Africa’s Central Drug Authority, toted out the 40,000 number again. Some NGO’s, newspapers, websites, and ignorant Christians* picked up on it. A few NGO’s who work with children began their own twist saying that 40,000 African children would be enslaved into the sex industry to meet demand during the World Cup.

After being burned so bad in 2006 many groups and newspapers wisely shied away from 2010’s hyperbole so the number and placement of headlines was down significantly and many fewer groups spent money to do anything in South Africa.

But why is it always 40,000? Is there research to back this up in any way?

One Group, NotForSaleCampaign.org, founded by David Batstone took a better path with their ‘Red Card’ campaign. For 2010 they wisely steered clear of the 40,000 enslaved women hyperbole and focused on the global slave trade which unfortunately does have way too much basis in reality. They handed out their own version of red cards with quotes such as “The youngest pro footballer signed at 14, which is old if you’re a sex slave.”

Batstone has spent a number of years working with enslaved women and children around the world. Most of his hyperbole is, unlike that of someone like Melissa Farley, at least based in reality. While in his book ‘Not For Sale’ he ignores the numerous studies that indicate countries with legal prostitution, such as The Netherlands, appear to have significantly lower levels of enslavement or trafficking than countries such as the U.S., at least what he does include is generally factual.

While David and I may disagree about the impact of legalizing or criminalizing prostitution, we do agree on the harm of human slavery and I fully support everything he does.

And the final reality for the 2010 World Cup? Pretty much the same as 2006. Brothels reported more willing sex workers than they needed. Initial reports indicate no known enslavement or trafficking of adults or children.

CNN just reported similar findings in their interviews with brothel owners and prostitutes in South Africa. The prostitutes said that they were looking forward to the end of the world cup so that their regular customers, who’d stayed away from the crowds, would start coming back.

So, what is it about the number 40,000? Has someone somewhere done a study and determined that no matter what and where, the number of enslaved women for prostitution will really be 40,000? Is it some weird axiomatic number? Maybe some study determined that 40,000 was the number to garner the best emotional response in people? Big enough to get people worked up, but not so big as to seem unrealistic – at least without thinking about it? It’ll be interesting to see how often we see 40,000 with the 2014 World Cup.

One final note: Both Japan and Korea, hosts of the 2002 World Cup, have a Tier 1 rating by the U.S. State Department when it comes to human trafficking. This is the best rating any country can get. HOWEVER, my own research would seem to support a much higher rate of human trafficking in both countries than in most Tier 1 countries. I would find it believable that there was a significant increase in human trafficking for the 2002 World Cup. 40,000? Not even close. 1,000 or 2,000? Possibly.

* Amazing how a wild and unsubstantiated prediction one place became “The Facts Remain” that “40,000 HAVE poured in…”. And we wonder why Christians are held in such low esteem. As Christians we should be the purveyors of truth not the creators of lies. Note added 15 July: The author of the blog I linked to works with a respected organization. I’m hoping that he will be able to substantiate his claim.

Someone today commented that I’d be against any Democrat policy, just because it’s from a Democrat. Another person was surprised to hear that, thinking that I am a Democrat.

The reality is that I’m neither Democrat, Republican, Libertarian, nor anything else. If an Obama or Pelosi policy worked well for our nation I’d be all for it.

If government welfare programs were beneficial I wouldn’t mind paying for them. If they helped people that needed the help and encouraged people to get off of welfare and begin to support themselves I would vote for them. They don’t though. Government welfare, individual or corporate, provides some short-term benefit, but in the long-term just encourages people to make bad decisions and stick their hand out for more. We might benefit one-hundred children this generation but encourage one-thousand to be on welfare next generation.

Likewise, if vice prohibitions worked, I’d be for them. They don’t. They don’t reduce drugs, gambling, or prostitution, and they do cause a plethora of problems.

So far I’m sounding pretty Libertarian. But I disagree with many Libertarians too. While I’m not pro-war, I’m also not nearly as anti-war as the Libertarian plank espouses. And while I believe we should have about 10% as much government as Democrats believe we should and maybe 30% as much as Republicans believe we should, I probably also believe we need twice as much as Libertarians.

In the end I don’t care whose policy something is, as long as it’s a policy that is good for our nation. (What I’ve determined though is that most policies aren’t likely good for our nation, regardless of who they come from. This usually because of unintended consequences, not so much the policy itself.)

I’m amazed how often I hear people trying to defend a policy only because it’s the policy of their chosen party or their favored politician. Even when they agree with all of the reasons it’s a bad policy and that these outweigh anything good about it, they still try to defend it. I’ve even heard people say that they support it just because it’s part of their party’s or favorite politicians plank – no questions asked.

We need to stop being lemmings and start focusing on getting our nation back on track.

(BTW, who are ‘policies’ good for? Mostly government and politicians.)

In this article on FoxNews we learn that drug smugglers are, if nothing else, Green. My first thought was that if drug smugglers can build an electric boat, certainly our recreational boat companies in the U.S. can. On second thought though, the drug smugglers are probably much better funded. Speaking of electric boats, no recent news from Correct Craft on their experimentation with a Tesla provided drivetrain.

Seemingly, President Obama is becoming almost irrelevant. He still holds the office of President of the United States. He still wields a tremendous chunk of power. But he seems to be viewed less and less, even by Democrats and media, as leader of the Democratic party, not to mention leader of our country.

There’s a difference in ‘holding’ the office of POTUS and actually ‘being’ POTUS. Obama never made the transition from politician to POTUS. He still thinks he’s a politician. Rather than President of the United States, he views himself as President of constituent groups (and dictator of others?). He doesn’t see himself as the leader and representative of all of the citizens of the United States and fewer and fewer citizens view him this way.

Even foreign leaders have begun to dismiss him. The President of the United States has, for some time, been viewed by many as the most powerful person in the world and is often called ‘The Leader of the Free World’. At the recent G20 conference Obama was clearly not viewed that way. In fact, European leaders were lecturing him on budget deficits like he was a school child spending too much of his allowance.

In political speak, Obama is losing the conversation. And in a way perhaps unparalleled in the past century.